Wow, I looked back at the blog I began when this terrible journey began. I knew so little about what awaited me. The hormone therapy did not work and I got sicker and sicker. I ended up having to have blood transfusions every few weeks. They decided that I needed to go on chemo and began with Adrimiacin and Docytaxol. I also was put on a bone medication Zometa. I had chemo every 3 weeks, hair fell out and I was very sick. At one point I actually coded in the doctor's office and was admitted to the hospital. It was at that point I began radiation. It was one horrible summer and fall. But, the treatment worked, my tumor markers went from the 4000 to 50. They took me off the Adrimiacin (chemo nurses call the worst drug out there) and only had the Docytaxol. Hair began to regrow, still got really sick about 5 days out of every 21. In March they discovered my tumor markers had suddenly started to grow and were back above 700. They took me off the Docytaxol and put me on Avastin and Xleda. No side effects at all. Nice..but they recently decided that Avastin did not work on my particular cancer, so they took me off that drug. I now only take oral Xleda and go in once a month for Zometa infusion. The good news is that my tumor markers have started to go down again.

What have I learned over these months? Don't sweat the small stuff, get over your tiny life crisis and just live. Enjoy the people you love, avoid those that cause you grief. Life is truly too short and there is no reason to hamper yourself with those people who do not have your best interest in their hearts. Laugh as often and as long as you can, it is really good medicine. Hang with your grandkids, your kids and listen to them. Soak in their personalities and savor each moment with them. Love your husband or your significant other with all the gusto you can muster. Remember that those you love also love you and this disease is just as hard on them as it is on you. I try to remember that the people I love will have grief long after I have been releaved of life's burdons. I must be kinder to them. I must give them the best memories I can possibly make for them. And I have also learned that all those I worry about are much stronger than I assumed and that I don't have to hide my illness, my pain and my bad days from them. They can handle it. I have learned that I am incredibly lucky to have such wonderful amazing people in my life. My friends are truly blessings. My family, well they are why I am still here and I promise to stay as long as possible. Love YOU ALL.